Pizza Pockets

Nov 1

You might know these as Calzones. I, however, am trash and know them as pizza pockets.

quickie

• Smash the veg
• Sauté the sausages, then veg
• Simmer with the tomatoes
• Make the dough (*You can also use store bought pizza dough. Hell, you can also just buy frozen pizza pockets. These are both respectable options.)
• Assemble, bake, burn your mouthhole

Serves:

• 10 Pizza Pockets (these freeze well, separated with parchment paper)

Nutritional information:

• If you clicked on a pizza pocket recipe you can’t be overly concerned with this.

Serves well with:

• Homemade Buttermilk Ranch, or any dirty old ranch you can find (I like no name cause I’m classy AF)

Grocery List:

• 3 Italian sausages
• 1 medium red onion
• 2 cloves garlic
• 1 green pepper
• 1 ½ tsp salt
• 400 ml can diced tomatoes (about 1⅔ cups)
• 2 cups tomato sauce
• Heaping tbsp tomato paste
• Small bunch of basil
• Hot peppers or hot pepper flakes (optional)
• 175 grams mozzarella
• Grated parmesan (optional)

DOUGH:
• 2 tsp sugar
• 2 packets dry active yeast (4 ½ tsp)
• 2 cups warm water
• 4 ½ cups all purpose flour
• 2 tsp salt
• 1 tbsp olive oil
• 1 egg

Learning is fun!

Pizza, pronounced ‘Pete-za’, was invented in one of the countries, at some point in history, by a goddamned hero.

LESS quickie

Process:

Prep all the veg to make your life easier later. Chop the green pepper and onion into small squares.. I feel like people generally refer to these as cubes, but these are no equilateral cuboids, and this site will never promote incorrect geometry. Set the squares aside. Crush or mince the garlic. Roughly chop the basil.

FILLING: Heat a large deep skillet or saucepan on medium heat. Remove the sausages from their casings and crumble into the pan. Using a spoon or spatula break the meat up as it cooks. Continue sautéeing for about 8 minutes, until it's browned throughout.

Add the onion and cook for another 3 minutes, then add the garlic and cook for another 2 minutes, stirring frequently.

Turn the heat down to med/low. Add the salt, the diced tomatoes, the tomato sauce, the tomato paste, the basil, and the hot peppers or hot pepper flakes (if using ‘em). Simmer gently for around 10 minutes and then taste for salt and pepper. Depending on the salt and spices in your sausage, extra seasoning may not be needed. Add the green pepper. Let the mixture cool in the fridge or freezer while you make the dough (you can expedite this by pouring it into a larger dish or pan.. the larger the dish = the thinner the layer = the quicker it will cool). Cold filling is much less runny and is easier to deal with when assembling the pizza pockets.

DOUGH: In a large bowl mix 2 cups warm water, 2 tsp sugar, and 4½ tsp yeast. Let it sit until the yeast starts to bubble or froth, about 10 minutes. Mix in 2 tsp salt, 1 tbsp olive oil, and 4 ½ cups flour. Mix with a spoon until it comes together in a shaggy dough, then pour out on a lightly floured surface and knead until smooth, about 3-4 minutes. If the dough feels too sticky, knead in about a tbsp of flour at a time until it's smooth and slowly bounces back when poked. If it’s too dry, add a tbsp or two of warm water.

Place the doughball in a bowl and pour a splash of olive oil over it. Roll it around so it gets lightly coated. Cover with a plate or towel and let it sit in a warm area (like under a bright oven light or near a heating element) for 45 minutes.

Preheat oven to 425F.

Cut the mozzarella into small cubes.

In a small bowl whisk the egg with 2 tbsp water.

ASSEMBLY: Grab a piece of dough, roughly the size of Homer Simpson’s eyeball if he were lifesize, and roll it out on a lightly floured surface until it's about 7-8" around. Scoop a few spoonfuls of the filling into the middle (start small.. you’ll be adding cheese, and it’s very easy to overfill). Push a few of the chunks of mozzarella into the sauce. If you’re living hard, sprinkle on some parmesan.

Lightly brush the dough, painting a half-circle around the filling with the eggwash, to help seal the pocket. Fold the dough over and seal with a fork. Cut off any excess and poke a few fork holes in the top. Using a spatula transfer to a baking sheet, and lightly brush the top with the eggwash.